Ache

Hi there,

Today (19th January 2018) will be the last day of my final exam! Yayy

Well, glad that something is over. Alhamdulillah

The reason I'm writing here is because there are so much thing to say but no one eligible enough to hear.

Because every time I'm feeling like telling someone all my sorrows and insecurities, there must be this inner whisper that says that I'm just a burden to them. And they may listen, but they will never understand. And all those negative stuffs T-T

And it seems that crying is so much easier now, I dont even know why. I guess I'm back to 2011-2013.

Talking about that, I really really want to have a deep conversation with my bestfriends, and just let it all out. All the pain that I've put aside all these years. I know I have hurt them too, but can we just all be so honest for once and cry and hug each other. To forgive, and perhaps forget.

I cant be mad for the ones I love for so long. And it seems that it had been years,huh girls? I still remember the pain. The pain that mould me into who I am now.

Once, someone asked me, what is my biggest achievement?

I said to her, my biggest achievement would be, being the one that didnt leave although I have the biggest urge to do that. 

And I ended up telling my story. From the way she reacted, I knew what I considered to be my biggest achievement is nothing but a speck of dust to her.

Btw, the reason I'm writing is not about that.

I guess we all had been hurt by the ones we love, be it once, twice or multiple times.

So its either you forget, and forgive. Or to just keep that flame in your heart.

You choose.

And I choose to be happy.

Although I am not really sure how, and when. But I hope that I will live a content life. Ameen

There are too much thing to say, indeed. And I need a human ear to listen out.

May I found a good listener one day, ameen.

Till then, assalammualaikum :)